Kink Series #4 – Adult Clubs

Welcome to a new blog where I will talk about what adult clubs are, what to expect, and a little about my thoughts so far. Moving forward in the kink series, I will leave reviews of my visits for local adult clubs as my partner and I visit them (although in my experience these places are extremely safe and respectful, as a reviewer I would still rather go with someone at this stage).

As I became a sexologist, I was still doing a lot of main stream vanilla work. I undertook the extra studies to assist couples in getting stronger in their intimate relationship, however, very quickly, I was attracted to the different lifestyles, the ways some people could own their choices, enjoy them, without the dreaded relationship escalator. In short, I loved how people could just say “screw the norm, as long as I’m happy and not hurting anyone, who cares?”.

In actual fact, one of my very good friend said to me this weekend, after a lot of her own soul searching “Maybe I just have to accept I’m a slut and loving it”. Of course, she was being provocative and the term doesn’t quite cover what she meant, but I understood what she was trying to say which was “I love myself the way I am, even if society feels I’m a bad woman/mother/citizen”.

So back to adult clubs. What can one expect out of them? In my experience, there are a few similar things in most of these places. Here are the basics:

• A open area where people keep their clothes on while they get to know each other. It generally looks like a smaller night club which lights on, music, and a dancing space. Most of them also have a strip pole.
• A play area where the fun is not only allowed but very welcome. In some places, it has sex swings, BDSM dungeon, mattresses for all to enjoy/join in, couches to chill while playing or watching. massage tables and even spas!
• BYO alcohol, though mixers/sodas etc are included in the price. Like most clubs, they adhere to a responsible drinking policy, and will not tolerate drunken behaviours. Some places include light snacks, but not all of them.
• Rooms (both opened and closed) which typically includes a mattress and/or a bed. Generally, if the door is closed, it means “private” and the code is to move along. If the door is opened but there’s a chain across the frame, it means “look but don’t touch”. Finally, if the door is fully opened with no chain, it means “guests are welcome to join us”.
• Showers and bathrooms go without saying. They generally have a few to cater for the numbers.
• Condoms, lube and other sex friendly items are available, mostly for free. After all, adult clubs promote healthy sex lives and safe sex.
• Events, themed nights, naked parades; clubs often have these to keep things interesting and keep the competition going in between various venues.
• Safety first. Interestingly, a single woman would be safer and feel safer in these clubs than in the streets or at a city night club. Why? Because the members follow an implied code of conduct of respect, consent, and more consent. I can pretty much assume that if a patron behaved inappropriately, he or she probably would be banned from management and have the whole group stand up for the person being “harassed”.
• Strict hygiene is paramount. To debunk the myth, bed sheets are changed with every “visit”, and they all apply Covid rules as per government regulations.
• Pretty recluse location. I assume this is to protect the confidentiality of the patrons. Most of these places are in industrial estates where all the workers have left for the day by the time the fun begins.

Where do we find these places?

What a great question, one I must say I had no idea until I came into this research and needed to ask! In short, there are sites where kinksters meet online and events are advertised. These include Red Hot Pie and Discord. When I come across new ones, I sure will let you know.

Reviews…

As I move forward with this kink series, I will post reviews on the adult clubs I think are worthwhile visiting. Trust me, people attend for different reasons. For some people, it’s purely to watch and nothing else. For others, it’s to watch, others to be watched, and finally, for some, it’s to engage in “naughty” play.

If you have any thoughts or reviews on an adult club you have visited, let me know. If you run an adult club and would like to have your fun place reviewed, do let me know also.

 

This Blog is credited to:

Dr Stephanie Azri

Marriage & Relationship Counsellor| Accredited Sexologist | EMDR Therapist | Author

Stephanine Azri is a clinical social worker specialising in women’s issues and relationship counselling. She is an accredited clinical sexologist with a passion for supporting men and women to have a fulfilling sexuality. Her knowledge and skills are drawn from decades of tertiary studies, undertaking professional development and clinical supervision, as well as my personal experiences.

Her passion for women’s recoveries, healing and pregnancy/parenting started her ride as an international self-help author and as a clinician in private practice. 

She pursued a clinical accreditation in sexology and broadened her horizons by starting Beenleigh Couple Therapy (now Relationships 180), a clinic for couples of all walks of life and all types of issues. For more information please visit Stephanie’s website Relationships 180; Because all relationships matter (stephanieazri.com)   or contact her on 0403 774 459 or  hello@stephanieazri.com

Stephanie’s book range can be found at Book Collection | Dr Stephanie Azri