Tantra is a ritual that each person comes to with intention.

Tantra (not the ancient yogic spirituality, but what is know as ‘neo-tantra / new tantra) is a practice of making sex sacred. Instead of focusing on arousal or orgasms, the focus is on connection, mindfulness and the movement of energy.

Set aside a time for Tantric sex in advance. Set the space beautifully. Play some music. Burn incense or oils. Prepare some fruit.

Sit facing each other cross legged. Hold Hands and hold gentle eye contact for 3 minutes before moving into sexual interactions. While sitting, you may want to set an intention for your ritual. Eg. ‘To express my love for you’. ‘To open our hearts’. ‘To feel energy moving through my body’. Don’t overthink it-become sexually intimate in ways that feel good to you both.

Become very present to the information coming through the 5 senses of touch, smell,taste, sight, sound and taste. Be as ‘one’ with the moment as you can. If you get distracted into thinking, come back to the body through the senses. You may feel orgasm building. When this happens, do not clench the body. Instead, undulate and move the body, following the sensations around the body with awareness. Do not try to ‘push out’ an orgasm. Relax and keep feeling and letting sensations flow.

You might like to imagine energy moving from your heart, down to your genitals.

Imagine the loving energy moving from your partners genitals and flowing up into your heart. Send it back out of your heart into your partner’s heart, down to their genitals and back up into your heart. Continue focusing on this cycle for as long as you like.

You can also imagine the flow of energy in the other direction. Imagine sending loving energy out of your genitals, into your partners genitals, up into your partner’s heart. Recieve this loving energy into your heart, and feel it flow down to your genitals and back out again. Focus on this cycle for as long as you like. Penetrative sex is not needed for this visualisation. It is a powerful visualisation from Taoist Tantra.

Once the session comes to a natural stillness, stay connected in whatever way makes sense for you. Imagine that beautiful spiritual energy, or love is flowing through you.

You can imagine sending this to each other’s hearts. Or you can focus on your intention again for a few moments. Hold each other’s gaze again to finish and ‘honour’ each other in some way.

If you would like more exercises and practices, I have created an online course that is full of exercises to try, details below.