How to have sex: Sex? What is it and how to have it?

So, how to have sex! When it comes to intimacy, terms like French kiss and "second base" are commonly understood. However, defining sex can be more complex. Is masturbation considered sex? What about brief encounters? The exact definition may not be crucial, as sexual activity spans a wide range, from kissing to various forms of intercourse. Personal preferences differ, highlighting the importance of mutual consent and protection. Deciding to have sex is significant, and while it may seem overwhelming, understanding your comfort and pleasure is key. Think of this as Sex 101: an exploration of what typically defines sex and why.

The textbook definition of how to have sex is sexual contact between individuals involving penetration, especially the insertion of a man's erect penis into a woman's vagina, typically culminating in orgasm and the ejaculation of semen.

However, that definition only suits male/female relationships. So, for this purpose I prefer the following definition: All kinds of penetration should be considered sexual intercourse, including anal or vaginal, with a penis or other item designed to bring about sexual gratification. As should any sexual stimulation between two people whether that’s oral, manual, internal and external.

How will my body change after sex?

Physically, not much changes after sex. For those with a vagina, the hymen may break, causing slight soreness. For those with a penis, there's no noticeable change. The main impact is often emotional, fostering a closer connection with your partner. If you experience remorse or regret, talking to someone you trust or a professional is important.

 

Does Masturbation Count as Sex?

Masturbation isn't equivalent to losing your virginity, and engaging in it is a normal and safe way to explore your body. It can enhance your understanding of what arouses you and contribute to a more satisfying sexual experience. An additional benefit is that you can enjoy pleasure without concerns about sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy. However, it's essential to maintain clean hands during masturbation to avoid introducing harmful bacteria into your body.

 

Do I have to have an orgasm for it to count as Sex?

Orgasm doesn't determine if an experience is considered sex, and it's normal if you or your partner don't climax. One in three individuals with vulvas may face challenges in reaching orgasm during partnered sex. People have different stimuli, and achieving orgasm may involve more than penetration, such as clitoral stimulation. Masturbation helps explore what's pleasurable, and communication with a partner is key. Remember, reaching orgasm can take time, so be patient and avoid undue pressure.

 

What about Outercourse?

Outercourse is a form of sexual activity that doesn't involve penetration. Outercourse allows couples to engage intimately and experience orgasm without vaginal or anal penetration. Examples of outercourse encompass activities like making out, grinding, and dry humping.

 

What if it was just really quick in and out?

Yes, even a brief encounter lasting only two seconds still qualifies as sex. However, what matters more than labelling it as sex or not is the importance of using condoms. Regardless of the duration of sexual activity, it's crucial for your partner to wear a condom to prevent the risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

 

What about if he only put it halfway in?

There's no official guideline dictating what percentage of penetration qualifies as "Real Sex." Any level of penetration is considered a form of sexual activity or an attempt at it. Regardless of the extent of penetration, using condoms is imperative.

 

What if it was just oral or anal?

Oral and anal activities are indeed forms of sex, as indicated by the inclusion of the word "sex" in their terms. These activities may involve fingering or the use of sex toys. Although pregnancy is not a concern in these scenarios, it's crucial not to overlook safe sex practices.

 

What if my partner said it wasn’t?

Who gives them the authority to define sex? While the meaning of sex may vary from person to person, what truly matters is how you perceive the encounter and ensuring that you are taking steps to protect yourself.

 

What if I didn’t consent to sex?

If you didn't give consent to sex or sexual activity, it constitutes rape or sexual assault. The timing of saying "no" or "stop" during the encounter doesn't matter. Consent is an ongoing agreement, and you have the right to withdraw it at any point if you feel uncomfortable. If you suspect you've been assaulted, talk to a trusted adult or reach out to a trained counsellor through onsite sites such as https://au.reachout.com or https://www.healthdirect.gov.au.

So, as you can see, for such a small three letter word, it carries great meaning! We hope this blog helped you answer the question, how to have sex?