BDSM – What you need to know!

We have had a few inquiries as what BDSM is all about. Here is some information that may help. BDSM refers to sexual activities that encompass elements of domination, submission, and control. In such practices, one partner often assumes a more dominant role while the other plays a more submissive role. The term BDSM is an abbreviation that encompasses the following categories:

 

• Bondage: Restricting a partner’s freedom of movement, for example, with ropes, handcuffs, or other restraints
• Discipline: Agreed upon rules and punishments for a dominant partner to exert control over a submissive partner

• Dominance: The act of showing dominance over a physical partner, either during sex or outside of the bedroom
• Submission: The act of showing submission to the dominant partner's actions and wishes
• Sadism and Masochism (or Sadomasochism): Pleasure that a partner may feel from either inflicting pain (sadism) or receiving pain (masochism), either physical or emotional

Although power play, role-playing, pain play, bondage, wax play, edging, sensory deprivation, and humiliation are some of the various forms of BDSM, it is important to note that there is no single way to engage in this practice. A 2016 study revealed that domination fantasies in a sexual context were reported by around 47% of women and 60% of men. The study also found that BDSM sex was slightly more common in LGBTQ couples, but researchers noted that this sexual behaviour was prevalent across different age groups, genders, and ethnicities.

 

How BDSM Sex Works in Relationships

Engaging in BDSM sex within a relationship can be pleasurable for both individuals involved. For many participants, BDSM offers a way to release stress, explore trust, and act out fantasies that involve submission, vulnerability, and control. According to a small study, taking part in a BDSM dynamic may reduce stress levels and improve mood, while other research indicates that engaging in healthy BDSM scenes can promote feelings of intimacy between partners. In a two-person relationship, one partner typically assumes the dominant role, while the other plays the submissive role. However, a "switch" is an individual who alternates between the dominant and submissive roles depending on the partner and the context. This dominant and submissive dynamic is often referred to as a top/bottom dynamic. Although the dominant partner or top typically takes control in activities such as spanking, bondage, or whipping, the submissive may also exert control by directing the top to perform certain roles or by insisting on switching roles.

Safety Advice and Special Considerations

In BDSM sex, obtaining consent is crucial. Partners should always ensure that all parties involved provide enthusiastic consent and establish clear boundaries. These boundaries can be defined through a formal contract, verbal agreement, or a casual conversation about desires and limits. Given the intensity of some BDSM scenes, introducing a safe word is also important. If one partner becomes uncomfortable at any point, they can use the word to stop the current act or halt the sexual encounter altogether. The traffic light system is another way to negotiate boundaries. Each colour indicates how a partner is feeling and what they want. Red means they want their partner to stop immediately, yellow means they want their partner to slow down due to physical discomfort or reaching a limit, and green means they want the act to continue because they feel comfortable and enjoy it. Before engaging in more advanced forms of erotic play such as using whips, sex toys, or advanced bondage techniques, it is advisable to educate oneself through classes, books, or instructional online content. Additionally, partners engaging in BDSM sex can practice aftercare, which involves taking care of each other after a scene. This may involve activities such as cuddling, hydrating, bathing together, or other calming activities. A post-sex discussion about what worked, what didn't, and how each partner is feeling can also help safeguard all participants physically, mentally, and emotionally.

How to Explore BDSM Sex

If you’re interested in trying BDSM sex, there are some “light” BDSM practices that may be a good starting point for beginners. These can include:

• Hair pulling
• Handcuffs
• Scarf or tie bondage
• Blindfolds
• Light spanking
• Role-playing

One of the most crucial aspects of BDSM is communication. It is essential to communicate with your partner about your desires and preferences. BDSM encompasses a broad range of sexual activities and dynamics, and each person may approach it differently. It is vital to be honest with your partner about what you are looking for and what you feel comfortable with. Ignight Me has a wide range of BDSM products to suit your needs – check them out today!